During the Night
by Dr. Jeckyle
Summary: Two lovers find themselves a galaxy apart...
1. Cassie

                Every night, around midnight, I find myself awake in my bed, my mind lost in the memories of the past. Memories of _him_. The boy I dreamed of every night while I was in his arms. I think of Ronnie's and my house, a part of me wishing that it was _his_ and my house, and I know of the tears the fall from my eyes. Tears spelt over how destiny had played with both of our lives and separated us.

I know I love Ronnie, his support during my time of need was the only thing kept me going in life.

Sometimes though…

Sometimes though, when I wake up with Ronnie's arm spread over my bare waist in a lover's embrace, I will think of _his_ smile, _his_ lips, _his_ eyes. And for that moment in time, Ronnie would become _him_. My secret lover, my secret passion, my phantom of the past.

I will feel safer then, happier. I would even lean closer to _his_ warm body then, my head running over the smooth surface of _his_ chest. Not Ronnie's chest, but _his_. Sometimes I would picture myself looking up and seeing _him_ stare down at me.

But always… I realize it isn't _him_, it's my second love.

And I cry.

I cry in silent agony, a part of my soul screaming out at the cowardliness of my ways that kept me from _him_, kept me from waking up _his_ arms. My tears trickle down my cheek and splash against my true embracer's chest. Sometimes Ronnie would wake up, sometimes he wouldn't.

Tonight, Ronnie was sleeping soundly. 

I do love Ronnie! I do love him for what he has done for me. I love the way he acts, how responsible he is, how caring he is. I love it when he surprises me with little gifts for no reason. I love how he sometimes surprises me in the shower. I love Ronnie… but I was in love with _him_.   

During the time when all seemed lost, _he_ would comfort me, _his_ love for me lost to the others. _He_ and me would be the only ones in the moment, the words, _he_ spoke to me, being the breath of life that I needed. They would give me hope. They would be the light I needed to escape the shadows of doubt in my soul.

                I loved _him_. I loved _him_ with all my heart.

                And because _he_ had to play a hero, _he_ is missing.

                _He_ had to run off after Rachel's funeral, run from me. I know _he_ blamed himself. I know seeing me would only remind _him_ of what sacrifice had to be made to save mankind. Then _he_ had to hide behind the media, hide behind _his_ work.

                _He_ hid from me. _He_ hid from what we both wanted.

                And now, _he's_ gone from me again, vanishing into the depths of space.

                I'm crying harder now, the thought of _his_ disappearance digging deeper into my being. For a second, I find myself disgusted with myself for being so close to Ronnie and not _him_. I don't want Ronnie. I love _him_! I want _him_! 

                Between my drops of despair, I repeat _his_ name softly, _his_ name causing my sadness to dwell deeper.

                "Marco…"  


	2. Marco

                I'm alone.

            Completely alone.

            First they took Jake, then Tobias, finished off with Santorelli and Jeanne Gerard, and now I am alone in the darkness of the metallic box they shoved us in. Who are they? Well, Yeerks operated the ship that ripped apart our ship. Yes, Yeerks. Who would have thought that after they war, I would still be trying to escape them. Oh, and lets not forget about these Yeerk's new leader… The One. Some mysterious being who… seemed to be no one, yet everyone in a matter of seconds. 

            I chuckle at this thought. Don't I sound philosophical? 

            I find myself considering trying to escape, but I know that I'm sealed in. The others and I'd tried several times to breakout, but the Yeerks knew our ways. So, what was a boy to do? It was a coin toss between weeping over the irony of this situation, or waiting bravely for the others to come back.

            If they came back.

            It feels like days sense they began dragging them away. Since I had no clock or windows, I was only guessing at this assumption of time. It didn't matter though. Jake and the others were gone, possibly dead, leaving me to be the only Animorph left. No, not the only one… Cassie was still on Earth.

            I smiled at this. Cassie was safe and at least happy. Maybe when the news of our disappearance finally became evident, she'd be hurt, but she'd have Ronnie to make her life meaningful.

            "Ronnie" My lips were cracking as I spoke the word, my jealousy for this man hiding the pain of thirst and starvation for a fraction of a second. "What kind of name is Ronnie?"

            What kind of name was Ronnie? Of all the guys Cassie had to love she had to choose a guy with a name like 'Ronnie'. I nod my head in agreement at this thought, the name echoing through my mind. The name was just weak. Cassie needed a guy with a strong name! With a name that just screamed personality.

            "Marco," I spoke once more, my smile cracking as I add an extra beat at the end of my name. Yes, now that was a name. That was a name Cassie would probably just enjoy saying… like she used to enjoy saying.

            _"Marco, this isn't right. I'm with Jake."_

"Then don't kiss me. Just turn around and walk away and act like this feeling between us isn't real. If you can do that, I can leave. I can act like this feeling never existed."

_            "Marco… Please. I—I love-"_

_            "Jake?"_

_            "Marco, I don't know… He cares for me!"_

"I care for you! Even with everything lost, I still haven't left you behind like he has!"

_            "Marco, I can't just leave him."_

_"Do you realize you've said my name in front of each sentence you spoke? Is the name that alluring to you?"_

_            "Marco-"_

_            "Ah! There you go again!"_

            God, what would I do to see her again? Maybe even feel her lips against mine. I wouldn't mind her arms around my neck. I could probably go for placing my hands on her waist. Add some trees around us, a starry night. Then… it would be our first kiss again. 

            She was crying when I found her in the woods. My first instinct was to find Jake, but her eyes stopped me. Something about her eyes beckoned me to move closer and to ask what was wrong. And I found out there that Jake was the problem. How he still cared for her even though she found her love for him diminishing. Next thing I know, I kissed her. She slapped me. She then kissed me. And our little secret meetings began. Hiding out in that same part of the woods when everyone else was sleeping, not even kissing some nights. Just holding each other and talking.

            And leave it to me to let her vanish from my life.

 After the final battle, I had lost the five most important people in my life. I had lost one of my best friends because of her sacrifice. Ax, he was needed on his own planet. Tobias seemed to disappear after Rachel's funeral. I lost Cassie because I was coward. And, then there was Jake. I hardly spoke to him because his sacrifice of Rachel. He never even gave me a chance to give my opinion on it! Didn't he realize that it should have been me? 

            I find myself shaking at this point, my fist clenched, my mind repeated the same argument over again in my head.

            Everyone but I was needed after the war. Jake was the leader and he was needed for that afterwards. Cassie, she was the symbol of the Animorphs! You can't kill a symbol. Ax was needed to maintain relationships with the Andalites. Tobias was needed to keep Rachel sane… and Rachel was needed to keep Tobias human. What did they need me for? To make movies with big explosions and special effects? Ha! I was useless.

            " It should have been me Rachel," A tear slides from my eye as these words leave my lips. "I'm sorry… It should have been me, Jake!"

            I'm standing now, throwing my fist into the wall as a scream of fury exploded from deep inside me. It was fault Rachel died, it was my fault that I left Cassie! I conclude this once more as I fall to the ground, whimpering. I couldn't bare being with someone so innocent when blood was on my hands. So I hid. I hid behind the media and then my movies.

                The door opens now, flooding the room with unwanted light. I try to shield my eyes as the figures approach, trying to make out anything about them, anything that I can use to my own advantage. The light though, it's too bright! I feel their hands wrap under my arm and began dragging me towards the light. Towards my death probably. 

And the only fear I have right now is that I'll never hear Cassie say she loves me.

"Cassie.."


End file.
